a lot to read so excuse me for not reading your entire rant.
A degree is highly valuable and opens more doors than a basic certification.
Most, if not all IT Directors that I work with have all made the same statement: "Anyone can pick up a book and read it for a month to pass a test" - which gives little credit to certifications.
Having a degree that is complimented with certifications is the ideal way to go.
CompTia are "technician" certifications.< Great for entry level >
Cisco, Juniper, Microsoft are all considered "Professional" certifications.
I graduated with a degree in Computer Networking Systems. Shortly after I added Net+ then Sec+
and finally my CCNA R&S
This helped me evolve from Helpdesk into a professional role as a Network Administrator.
Keep in mind most certifications will be valid for only three years. This is a blessing because it will weed out the "wanna be" techs with people who actually know the material.
I personally wouldn't work at a Best Buy. Helpdesk gets you more involved with all aspects of IT - Servers, Routing, Switching and client machines just to name the basics.